Burma, Where No One Remembers Your Name

Compared to many countries Burmese English is phenomenal, but then again, it’s best not to get ahead of ourselves. They aren’t native speakers, a lesson Vicky and I had to learn the frustrating way.

It’s very common to make reservations with Burmese hostels because the demand among travelers is just so high that if you try to show up on a moment’s notice you might have a very difficult time finding a room at a reasonable price. Vicky and I were very lucky to have some help from our assistant who reserved all of our rooms, while we were in Thailand. Unfortunately, when it came time to checking on these reservations in Burma, we were sans assistant and on our own (no assistant = first world problems).

I remember calling one place the day before we were going to arrive. It went a little like this:

Me: “Hello, my name is David. I’d like to confirm my reservation for tomorrow.”

Burmese Lady: “Sorry, we’re full”

Me: “No, I’d like to confirm my reservation.”

Burmese Lady: “What’s your name?”

Me: “David.”

Burmese Lady: “Can you spell that?”

Me: “D-A-V…”

Burmese Lady: “C-A-E?”

Me: “No, D-A-V…”

Burmese Lady: “C-A-E?”

Me:”No, the fourth letter of the alphabet, not the third”

Burmese Lady: “C?”

At this point I gave up and handed the phone to the Burmese hostel manager I was sitting with to ask if he could handle it. He took the phone, but began speaking in English instead of Burmese. As you can imagine, the same problems ensued, until finally I requested that he speak in Burmese with her and that helped things quite a bit.

Had this been the only time I would have chalked it up to bad luck, but time and time again we had enormous difficulty confirming our reservation. Another call went like this:

Me: “Hello, my name is David. I’d like to confirm my reservation for tomorrow.”

Burmese Lady: “What’s your name?”

Me: “David.”

Burmese Lady: “How do you spell that?”

Me: “D-A-V-I-D”

Burmese Lady: “I have a T-R-I-S-T-A-N, is that you?”

Me: “No, my name is David, that person’s name is Tristan. Can you check my email? It’s ACTassistant@gmail.com”

Burmese Lady: “I have a E-N-I-T-A.com, is that you?”

Me: “No, those aren’t the same at all, and yours isn’t even a correct email address.”

Things felt a little bit like that Seinfeld episode when he goes to rent a car, having previously made the reservation, but they gave the car away anyways. Similarly, the Burmese are quite good at taking reservations, but not so good at holding them, which is really the most important part. I mean, anyone can take a reservation, but it’s the holding that really matters, but I digress.

At this point I just remade the reservation for one day and hoped that we would be able to settle this in person. Flash forward the next day and everything is OK.

Lesson – Don’t assume that everyone speaks and understands English as well as you do, and always call in advance.